Is there another tree?

In so many cases, I have tried to rely on my own strength. These past few weeks have been no exception. 

I have been waiting for a letter to pop up in my mailbox for a few weeks now, and yesterday it arrived. It wasn't until late last night that I heard that still small voice telling me that I needed to just let it go, and remember Who is ultimately in control. 

In so many ways I try to convince myself that I can do it all by myself, even though half the time I don't even realize I'm telling myself this. It's an odd thought to even try to comprehend, but it's the truth. I just don't center my life around Christ the way I should. So, He throws something my way that forces me to do so. It's not that I wasn't remembering Him, wasn't remember to read His Word or to pray, I just wasn't giving Him all of the burdens I have carried. 

Sometimes, I believe, The Lord gives you trials even when you are "doing everything right." 

I am human. I still make mistakes. I still focus on certain things when I should be focusing more or simply also on others. We all do this. We think that these menial tasks in life will be able to be taken care of by ourselves. Which...is true. I won't lie and say that these things can't be done by us alone. But our Father did not give us His Son so that we could do things on our own. 

Instead, He gave us His Son to walk right beside us, holding our hand, sometimes carrying us along, so that we did not HAVE to do these things alone. 

Have you ever done a simple task, like driving to the store, and realized once you got there that everyone and their brother was driving like maniacs and you could have been hit about three different times? Have you ever been in the store and realized you can't find that one item you desperately need for the birthday meal you'll be cooking for someone? Have you ever needed that venti latte but didn't have that extra $2 for it? Now remember how you got to the store safely. Remember how that little old woman went right to that item you needed and got her's and you just acted like it was nothing to pick up the same item. Remember how you found not $2, but $5 in your jeans. 

See how that works? God knows infinitely ahead of time what we will need to get through our day. 

God knows.

Everything.

This is something that has baffled me and perplexed me for a long time, but ever since my car accident, it has amazed me. Remember how He planted that tree several years ago that saved my life? 

Why shouldn't I believe that He has yet another tree somewhere? 

"Do you have a question?"

|After Bible class today, I was waiting for my friend to finish taking a quiz. 

I was casually sitting in a desk when Mr. Twigg, my teacher, asked if I had a question. "No, I'm just waiting for her," I smiled. He said "oh, okay," and continued with getting his things together. 

I was kind of surprised, because he asked me how my semester was going. He asked my major, asked what classes were bothering me. Several times he would say "Not trying to be nosey, but.." He asked many questions about why I chose a Humanities major. I explained why; I told him about Jeremy and how he helped mold my love for the disabled. I told him of how Jeremy showed me what I wanted to do. I told him how Jeremy passed away and how much I have missed going to the group homes. Mr. Twigg asked a few other questions about what I specifically want to do with my major.

 But it was what he said after, when we were basically done with the conversation, that really got my attention.

 "Have you ever thought that maybe your spiritual gift is mercy?"

 I stumbled with my words, because, honestly, I had never thought about it. I had never thought about what talent God had given me. I thought about what mercy is and how I could possibly show mercy in my life. Someone who barely knows me, only being my teacher for two semesters, just heard about what I want to do and asked if my gift was mercy.

 I just came back to my room and got on Pinterest, and look what popped up- this quote. And it all made sense. I am able to show mercy so easily because of the mercy that God shows me. His mercies are new every day. He has showed such immense mercy to me, how could I not show it to others? My mercy does not come from within myself, it comes from who God is. Because mercy is not something God has, but something God is. And that- to have the adjective "merciful" placed before my name- is the greatest compliment, for I am being complimented by something that defines God. 

Humbling. So humbling.